Revisiting the gut punch (and trying to look forward)

I've had a few weeks now to digest the gut punch that came when my credential application for the Milan-Cortina Olympics next February was not fulfilled. As someone who has been covering the Olympics for the last 10 years, it came as a surprise, but it was also a blow in other ways that I maybe hadn't thought of.

First and foremost, after receiving the e-mail from the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee that my credential application was not fulfilled, I e-mailed for a reason and they replied relatively quickly. They stated that they had fewer credentials available from the IOC than they had allocated in Beijing and they were only able to grant credentials to 77 outlets while more than 130 outlets applied for credentials. They also stated that they received twice as many credential requests than the number of credentials allotted to the USOPC by the International Olympic Committee.

I get it. I was well aware when I put my name into the credential process more than 10 years ago that weekly newspapers were pretty low on the priority list when granting credentials and back then, I was surprised that my request was granted. I may have taken for granted that they would just be approved each time I applied moving forward and that was wrong on my part.

This decision (I am on a waitlist, so it's not completely final yet) impacted me in ways I wasn't really expecting. Of course there's the general disappointment of not being able to go to a cool location like the Italian Alps and see the best athletes in the world compete. But there is more to it than that.

First, I've stated here many times that I work my second job at the Yum Yum Shop to help pay for these experiences. I've been lucky over the years to receive great support from the community and my bosses at both of my jobs have been understanding and helpful as I navigate traveling around the world every few years. But without the prospect of an Olympic trip to pay for, I began wondering why I was bothering working the second job at all? What's the point of getting up at 3 a.m. five days a week if I'm not working toward something? The one thing that has kind of tempered that thought a bit is that my health insurance comes through that job, which would make it more of a pain in the ass to walk away from.

Second, for the past 10 years I've always had something to look forward to. After Sochi (right about this time 11 years ago), I wasn't 100 percent sure I was going to try for PyeongChang, but ever since, I've had the prospect of another Olympics on the horizon. After PyeongChang I decided to try for the Summer Games and got Tokyo credentials. Before I even went to Tokyo (after a year's delay), I was approved for Beijing credentials and after that, Paris was on the horizon. And while I looked forward to them all, the 2026 Games were going to be pretty special for me because this was the first Olympics being held in a traditional winter atmosphere and I couldn't wait.

Now, I don't really have anything to look forward to. I don't feel like I have anything I'm working toward. A trip to South Carolina with a couple of local spring sports teams is on the docket for April and that's cool, but I just don't have the excitement of getting ready for something big on the books. It's kind of got me bummed out. I've had people suggest trying to get credentials to other events, but right now, none of them have jumped out at me. I am a huge Olympics fan and being part of them for 10 years was like nothing I've ever done.

I love watching coverage of all the winter sports on television but it kind of depresses me a bit every time they say, "one year from now in Milan-Cortina" in regards to what is ahead. I know the possibility is still out there that a credential that was granted will be returned and I could get lucky, but right now, I am not counting on it and not holding my breath.

I'll continue to plug away but right now, there's not a lot of joy. And I'm not sure how to get past that.


This is the first photo I took when I got out of the airport in Sochi in February of 2014 for my first Olympics experience. Hard to believe that was more than 11 years ago now.

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